Seista's Aren't Just for Mexican's
This Post is dedicated to my friend Sandor, who's patient perseverance has led him to wait a very long time to have a live conversation with me.
What follows is taken from an email conversation between he and I in regards to my insanely busy schedule- ok, well, it was actually intercepted by myself before I sent it back to him and I turned it into this Blog Posting, but nonetheless, it is valuable evidence for some societal ills and further touches on some thoughts you should think in regards to how we live our lives everyday.
Olah, I am going to reply from here, b/c that way I can sporadically type away in between teensy breaks. : )
You wrote that -l
........................V
Hey you,
All good, in time I pray for the same thoughtfulness, it will be needed. It is all good and I understand. In the past I would get consumed with things going the way I wanted and at the speed I wanted in relationships, friendships, career path, daughters development, etc...
But over the last year in a half I have really been disciplined by God in this area of my life. At times I get frustrated with people, then I realize it is not really people, but God, I grow frustrated with. The area I feel like I have grown in is the area of accepting God's timing as best (very little growth, but compared to were it was at, substancial). I still get frustrated as my initial reaction usually, but I am starting to learn not to dwell on certain emotions or misinterpret things and then obsess about them. Or not turning things into something they're not, or acknowledging when I have unreal expectations for someone and therefore put them in an unfair situation. Like I said I still have primary emotions that are evoked by different experiences (I get them even when certain interactions happen between us or don't happen between us) but I am more aware now of how I am dealing with those situations.
Funny thing is, on top of that, my life is incredibly full as well. I just started taking that online course and it is about 4 hours a day of studying, on top of the two JC Classes and 3 part time jobs that give me flexiblity but are 40minutes from each other, on top of my responsibility to the Church, studies, reaching out, Bible studies, Bible talks, Devos, Midweeks, and Sunday Service. Not to mention the daily to-do's around the house that I take responsibility for.....It is a lot. I talked with Scott who is leading the county now on Sunday night, and when we ran through my schedule he didn't know were to really take the conversation outside of making sure I stay in contact and build friendships up with a few more guys in the County.
I feel guilty at times too, that I am not doing more for the kingdom of God, or that my life isn't having the impact I want it to or think God expects it to. Then I realize although I could do more, right now it feels like God is rebuilding me from the inside out, and that I do as much as I can during this rebuilding process. I can also feel guilty because I am not there for people as much as I use to be, even in our friendship I can feel that at times (on my part, like with the date plans) and I realize it has a lot to do with my life being full and my discipline as well.
The Point.....I UNDERSTAND......ME TO.
Keep fighting the good fight girl....God will make things obvious and calm the sea when he sees it fit. Until then...be strong and courageous.
Talk with ya soon
YBIC Sean
------------------------------------------------------
Hi, How are you, I know my attempts at recreating the "original" electronic mail experience are pretty bootsy and my graphic design skills as demonstrated earlier (the arrow) are pretty awful as well, but hey! the bright side is that it's kinda entertaining....or maybe that's just me. I am sitting in front of a word document and will be ALL day today.
Anyhoo, I got this fabulous new CD it's called Brazil: Bahia.
I am sooooo going to Bahia next year....well, if God lets me. I don't know if I'll come back. I have this yearning in my soul to dedicate my "Bahian" life to studying inventive percusion, existing in fipflops (portugese: shanellas), making and eating rice and beans every day, mothering little street orphans, living 2 min from the ocean, watching Mar play soccer on the beach with his long hair flowing behind him, sitting in lanchonettes with old dudes playing the guitar and singing.....ahh! I don't think i really care that much about skin cancer - i think it's an even trade. Beach for cancer....hmmm.
So hey, do you remember that email that i wrote you a looong time ago about how i don't ever want to have a Cotsco membership and a golden retreiver? Where I don't wanna have little GAP kids and be a soccer mom. I was so upset the other night b/c I feel like that is kinda what my life is starting to come to in some ways.
Like being constantly on the go - always somewhere to be, always something to do, the career, the social circle, the parent-teacher conferences, trying to hold on to youth and still look good, couseling/therapy sessions, thinking about anti-depressants - Mother's Little Helper 2006 - Medicate your children so they walk in straight rows and never think outside the box and hopefully they won't gun down their classmates in middle school - it's not the lack of love and emptyness that they feel from their broken families and shattered souls. No, it's the meds they were supposed to be on at the age of 6 but didn't get because pop's job didn't cover those medical expenses so know we're sueing our healthcare provider......
The world is so crazy and I don't want any more. Seriously - I am going to start a movement, it is going to be called something like "Siestas aren't just for Mexicans" or perhaps "The Siesta - food, sleep, conversations with live people and other neccesary elements for human life" or "Consumerism isn't a pastime - Just like Alcoholism isn't a Sport" or maybe
"American Long Term Vision = Immediate Gratification".......
Are you with me here.....I have an opinion just like every other jerk out here, but I am really starting to rethink my career path, I was thinking professional educator. But now, I'm thinking......Social Activist.
Newsletters, publications, demonstations, public speaking, Internet, you know....just put some stuff out there. There's too much crap that we can't let just infiltrate our society. You know on Judgement day I think God will look at us as disciples and say why didn't you try harder. Or at least I will feel that way when he looks at me as he's separating the "sheep from the goats" and I see all the people that I could've helped in some way getting herded into hell, eternal damnation, fire and sulfur, ultimate separation from God and the final destruction of their soul.
I'm sure you've heard of the escalting violence on video games & movies - the disgusting things we are allowing to be accepted in society b/c of the "ultimate freedom". Our society seems like it is made up of a bunch of children kicking and screaming "We have the right!" There's no discipline, no perseverance, no holding back and, at the worst, we might get a financial "time out" until we figure out some other way to bamboozle some money to get what we want that will make us FEEL GOOD.
So much for building your own home with your hands, using the same writing desk that your grandmother used, passing clothing on from older child to younger child....
So much for leftovers.
I had my stint of rebellion the other night, I forcefully threw away the rest of the soggy noodles I made that didn't fit in the container I choose to store it in. In a fit of anger I thought, I do not HAVE to save this. And I don't have to eat it later, b/c my mom is not here to make me save it until it molds in the refrigerator - b/c I KNOW no one is going to eat it! So i threw half away and put half in the refrigerator and will leave it there untill it molds. I will throw it out next week, put the dish in the dishwasher and feel satisfied in every way.
Why? Because I safely rebelled, I honored my mother by saving the noodles that no one will eat and I will have cleaned out the refrigerator and done the dishes at the same time. How much more American can you get. All in one baby. Instant gratification with a touch of false respect, and multi tasking - the whole process benefits no one except myself. Ahhh, I am a true American , a Gringa in every sense of the word. How I long to escape the chains that hold me tight to the economical import that I drive to and from work everyday.
And as I write, I think: Could I really ever live without my Low-Fat Carmel Frappucino, add an extra shot of espresso, mixed in not floating, with extra carmel syrup on the whip.
Probably, but I wouldn't be a very happy camper, or would I be?
Camping, yup. I think that's where it's at. Look-sey, now I am going to put this email on my blog and it will camp out there. Alone, under the cyber night sky.....where things are quiet and dull. Where people like me put their thoughts, feelings and opinions out there for the world to read - but only because they are, like me, self absorbed and pathetically vain.
Me, me, me. Is what this America of ours screams. Like I said, snot nosed little children that don't realize they have snot in their nose and look ugly when they open wide their mouths to scream.
God help me to be a better person. Not to look prettier inside than the next girl, not for fear someone won't want to watch me scream and shake my pretty, little, manicured head around in a childish fit of rage while I throw away noodles, but b/c this world needs it.
Because we need people who care more about others than they do themselves. We need people who are chilvalrous, who believe in the golden rule and who actually do it.
We need people to be born and made into those who Believe that Believing translates directly into living a certain way, not just "having a feeling".
What the world needs now, more than ever, is Love in action and Love in truth.
What are you going to do today, tonight, right now - to make time for yourself to find something to Believe in?
What are you going to do? Who are you going to call on the phone, or better yet, WALK over to their house and ring the doorbell. They will be surprised that you are not soliciting something.
Who are you going to write a card to in your own handwriting, put the 29 cent stamp on and send through the United States Postal Serivce? Yea, they might wait longer, but good things are worth the wait.
Who are you going to invite over for a sit down meal and a conversation at the dinner table? Good things taste better in small houses. (~Queen Victoria, who ought to know...)
Well, I know what I'm going to do.
I am going to forgo the shopping trip to Macy's for a new bedroom set and give my brother a ride to pick up his car, I'm going to see my neice and squeeeze her little cheeks and kiss them. Then I'm going home, eating some left over soggy noodles, and making a phone call.
What follows is taken from an email conversation between he and I in regards to my insanely busy schedule- ok, well, it was actually intercepted by myself before I sent it back to him and I turned it into this Blog Posting, but nonetheless, it is valuable evidence for some societal ills and further touches on some thoughts you should think in regards to how we live our lives everyday.
Olah, I am going to reply from here, b/c that way I can sporadically type away in between teensy breaks. : )
You wrote that -l
........................V
Hey you,
All good, in time I pray for the same thoughtfulness, it will be needed. It is all good and I understand. In the past I would get consumed with things going the way I wanted and at the speed I wanted in relationships, friendships, career path, daughters development, etc...
But over the last year in a half I have really been disciplined by God in this area of my life. At times I get frustrated with people, then I realize it is not really people, but God, I grow frustrated with. The area I feel like I have grown in is the area of accepting God's timing as best (very little growth, but compared to were it was at, substancial). I still get frustrated as my initial reaction usually, but I am starting to learn not to dwell on certain emotions or misinterpret things and then obsess about them. Or not turning things into something they're not, or acknowledging when I have unreal expectations for someone and therefore put them in an unfair situation. Like I said I still have primary emotions that are evoked by different experiences (I get them even when certain interactions happen between us or don't happen between us) but I am more aware now of how I am dealing with those situations.
Funny thing is, on top of that, my life is incredibly full as well. I just started taking that online course and it is about 4 hours a day of studying, on top of the two JC Classes and 3 part time jobs that give me flexiblity but are 40minutes from each other, on top of my responsibility to the Church, studies, reaching out, Bible studies, Bible talks, Devos, Midweeks, and Sunday Service. Not to mention the daily to-do's around the house that I take responsibility for.....It is a lot. I talked with Scott who is leading the county now on Sunday night, and when we ran through my schedule he didn't know were to really take the conversation outside of making sure I stay in contact and build friendships up with a few more guys in the County.
I feel guilty at times too, that I am not doing more for the kingdom of God, or that my life isn't having the impact I want it to or think God expects it to. Then I realize although I could do more, right now it feels like God is rebuilding me from the inside out, and that I do as much as I can during this rebuilding process. I can also feel guilty because I am not there for people as much as I use to be, even in our friendship I can feel that at times (on my part, like with the date plans) and I realize it has a lot to do with my life being full and my discipline as well.
The Point.....I UNDERSTAND......ME TO.
Keep fighting the good fight girl....God will make things obvious and calm the sea when he sees it fit. Until then...be strong and courageous.
Talk with ya soon
YBIC Sean
------------------------------------------------------
Hi, How are you, I know my attempts at recreating the "original" electronic mail experience are pretty bootsy and my graphic design skills as demonstrated earlier (the arrow) are pretty awful as well, but hey! the bright side is that it's kinda entertaining....or maybe that's just me. I am sitting in front of a word document and will be ALL day today.
Anyhoo, I got this fabulous new CD it's called Brazil: Bahia.
I am sooooo going to Bahia next year....well, if God lets me. I don't know if I'll come back. I have this yearning in my soul to dedicate my "Bahian" life to studying inventive percusion, existing in fipflops (portugese: shanellas), making and eating rice and beans every day, mothering little street orphans, living 2 min from the ocean, watching Mar play soccer on the beach with his long hair flowing behind him, sitting in lanchonettes with old dudes playing the guitar and singing.....ahh! I don't think i really care that much about skin cancer - i think it's an even trade. Beach for cancer....hmmm.
So hey, do you remember that email that i wrote you a looong time ago about how i don't ever want to have a Cotsco membership and a golden retreiver? Where I don't wanna have little GAP kids and be a soccer mom. I was so upset the other night b/c I feel like that is kinda what my life is starting to come to in some ways.
Like being constantly on the go - always somewhere to be, always something to do, the career, the social circle, the parent-teacher conferences, trying to hold on to youth and still look good, couseling/therapy sessions, thinking about anti-depressants - Mother's Little Helper 2006 - Medicate your children so they walk in straight rows and never think outside the box and hopefully they won't gun down their classmates in middle school - it's not the lack of love and emptyness that they feel from their broken families and shattered souls. No, it's the meds they were supposed to be on at the age of 6 but didn't get because pop's job didn't cover those medical expenses so know we're sueing our healthcare provider......
The world is so crazy and I don't want any more. Seriously - I am going to start a movement, it is going to be called something like "Siestas aren't just for Mexicans" or perhaps "The Siesta - food, sleep, conversations with live people and other neccesary elements for human life" or "Consumerism isn't a pastime - Just like Alcoholism isn't a Sport" or maybe
"American Long Term Vision = Immediate Gratification".......
Are you with me here.....I have an opinion just like every other jerk out here, but I am really starting to rethink my career path, I was thinking professional educator. But now, I'm thinking......Social Activist.
Newsletters, publications, demonstations, public speaking, Internet, you know....just put some stuff out there. There's too much crap that we can't let just infiltrate our society. You know on Judgement day I think God will look at us as disciples and say why didn't you try harder. Or at least I will feel that way when he looks at me as he's separating the "sheep from the goats" and I see all the people that I could've helped in some way getting herded into hell, eternal damnation, fire and sulfur, ultimate separation from God and the final destruction of their soul.
I'm sure you've heard of the escalting violence on video games & movies - the disgusting things we are allowing to be accepted in society b/c of the "ultimate freedom". Our society seems like it is made up of a bunch of children kicking and screaming "We have the right!" There's no discipline, no perseverance, no holding back and, at the worst, we might get a financial "time out" until we figure out some other way to bamboozle some money to get what we want that will make us FEEL GOOD.
So much for building your own home with your hands, using the same writing desk that your grandmother used, passing clothing on from older child to younger child....
So much for leftovers.
I had my stint of rebellion the other night, I forcefully threw away the rest of the soggy noodles I made that didn't fit in the container I choose to store it in. In a fit of anger I thought, I do not HAVE to save this. And I don't have to eat it later, b/c my mom is not here to make me save it until it molds in the refrigerator - b/c I KNOW no one is going to eat it! So i threw half away and put half in the refrigerator and will leave it there untill it molds. I will throw it out next week, put the dish in the dishwasher and feel satisfied in every way.
Why? Because I safely rebelled, I honored my mother by saving the noodles that no one will eat and I will have cleaned out the refrigerator and done the dishes at the same time. How much more American can you get. All in one baby. Instant gratification with a touch of false respect, and multi tasking - the whole process benefits no one except myself. Ahhh, I am a true American , a Gringa in every sense of the word. How I long to escape the chains that hold me tight to the economical import that I drive to and from work everyday.
And as I write, I think: Could I really ever live without my Low-Fat Carmel Frappucino, add an extra shot of espresso, mixed in not floating, with extra carmel syrup on the whip.
Probably, but I wouldn't be a very happy camper, or would I be?
Camping, yup. I think that's where it's at. Look-sey, now I am going to put this email on my blog and it will camp out there. Alone, under the cyber night sky.....where things are quiet and dull. Where people like me put their thoughts, feelings and opinions out there for the world to read - but only because they are, like me, self absorbed and pathetically vain.
Me, me, me. Is what this America of ours screams. Like I said, snot nosed little children that don't realize they have snot in their nose and look ugly when they open wide their mouths to scream.
God help me to be a better person. Not to look prettier inside than the next girl, not for fear someone won't want to watch me scream and shake my pretty, little, manicured head around in a childish fit of rage while I throw away noodles, but b/c this world needs it.
Because we need people who care more about others than they do themselves. We need people who are chilvalrous, who believe in the golden rule and who actually do it.
We need people to be born and made into those who Believe that Believing translates directly into living a certain way, not just "having a feeling".
What the world needs now, more than ever, is Love in action and Love in truth.
What are you going to do today, tonight, right now - to make time for yourself to find something to Believe in?
What are you going to do? Who are you going to call on the phone, or better yet, WALK over to their house and ring the doorbell. They will be surprised that you are not soliciting something.
Who are you going to write a card to in your own handwriting, put the 29 cent stamp on and send through the United States Postal Serivce? Yea, they might wait longer, but good things are worth the wait.
Who are you going to invite over for a sit down meal and a conversation at the dinner table? Good things taste better in small houses. (~Queen Victoria, who ought to know...)
Well, I know what I'm going to do.
I am going to forgo the shopping trip to Macy's for a new bedroom set and give my brother a ride to pick up his car, I'm going to see my neice and squeeeze her little cheeks and kiss them. Then I'm going home, eating some left over soggy noodles, and making a phone call.
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